"You Are *NOT* a Lady!"

ABD and I are quarreling. Recall he threw down in email form by implying I was not capable of pushing myself with cardio without his direction, telling me I was sassy and telling me not to "poke the bear, push the little red button or annoy the trainer."

My response was in t-shirt form, naturally...

Front (the photo quality is terrible--those are pink, glitter letters people):

Back:



Needless to say, I am very proud of this shirt. The craftsmanship is my best yet. The hilarity factor is not my best, but up there. However, I digress. I wore this to my session today in a not-so-subtle attempt to let him know that my official response to his mean email is: GAME. ON.

He saw the t-shirt. Made a classic ABD smirk and pretended like he didn't care at all. This was the expected response (side note: I did get a chuckle out of Liz...). He then proceeded to KICK MY BUTT IN A HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE WAY. When I asked him if he was being extra hard on me in retaliation to my t-shirt, he flashed a quick, subtle grin and claimed he *always* works me hard. Sure, Devon, I am sure it is just *coincidence* that today you admittedly gave me less than 25 second rest periods and decide to institute a brand-new no sitting policy. I'm sure...MY mistake.

I will interrupt the Erin/ABD drama with some funny conversations (note how my maturity level starts low and only gets lower as the session goes on):

ABD: (while having me do squats) Stick out your butt more.
Me: Maybe I am not good at these because my mother raised me to be a lady.
ABD: *scoffing* You are *not* a lady!
Me: *disgust* Yes I am! What are you talking about?!?!?
ABD: You may be of the female persuasion, but you are not a lady.
Me: This is so going in my blog. And my mom reads it. She's gonna be so mad at you...
ABD: I have no doubt that your mother taught you to be a lady. What I question is whether or not you learned anything...
Me: *stunned silence*

Me: So. Devon. I *annoy* you.
ABD: What are you talking about?
Me: In your email, you said I annoyed you. Really?!?! You find me *annoying*???
ABD: Right now, yes.
Me: *stunned silence*

Me: Am I not your favorite client anymore?
ABD: You remain in the same standing you started in.
Me: *disgust* If I am such a terrible client, maybe I should get a new trainer.
ABD: Good luck finding someone here who would take you.
Me: *stunned silence*

Me: Since we are in a fight--
ABD: We aren't in a fight. YOU may be.
Me: Devon, it takes two to fight. We are fighting, and since we are fighting I will tell you that you are an awful trainer and I will count the ways.
ABD: *eye roll*
Me: I told you I was doing an indoor sprint triathlon Sunday and you have not assigned me one cardio session on the bike or in the pool.
ABD: So get on a bike!
Me: Um, I do *exactly* what you tell me to do. And you FAILED me.
ABD: *Blah blah blah, some schpeel about my weight loss goal and that conflicting with it, some crud about anaerobic training, yada yada yada, something about me wanting the equivalent of being tall and short at the same time.*
Me: Whatever, I'm bored with this. You *also* never got back to me about the half marathon training program my friend sent me.
ABD: I did too, after you sent me the clean version, it was a jumbled mess.
Me: (walking away from him, into the women's locker room) YOU'RE A JUMBLED MESS!
ABD: Wanna come back and say that to my face???
Me: (already in the locker room, but still within earshot) I WILL!

I then, in typical Erin form, flipped my switch and got all needy. I was all: Our pre-scheduled sessions run up Mar 9. Maybe I *should* find another trainer. I mean, *I* love working with you. But apparently I annoy you and am not your favorite client. So...whatever. *pathetic sigh*

I honestly don't remember what he said, but I think he secretly loves working with me. I mean, after our mature session today, how could he not? :)

Oh! Here is the lifting routine (they were pairings--do both, then rest):

BB Front Squats: 55 lbs, 12 reps; 65 lbs, 12 reps; 70 lbs, 12 reps
Weighted Frontal Lunges: 35 lbs, 12 reps each leg, 3 sets

Flat BB Bench Press: 65 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets
Push-ups w/ Hip Extension: BW, 12 reps, 3 sets

Reverse Grip Pulldowns: 32.5 lbs each side, 12 reps; 35 lbs each side, 12 reps, 2 sets
One-Arm DB Rows: 30 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

AA Standing DB Press: 22.5 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets
Rear Delt DB Flyes: 15 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

I then rode the spinning bike for 30 minutes. I went 10.1 miles and burned 204 calories. All in zone 2.

Next workout: some sort of cardio tomorrow.