Not Much To Report

Did 30 minutes on the cross-trainer today. Stats:

Calories Burned: 305 (Cross-Trainer)
Time: 30:00
Distance: 3.28 miles

Also, my Aunt Rachel joined me! That was fun! I always love working out with someone and getting to show them around my (and hopefully soon-to-be her) gym!

And I should probably note that I have been eating well ever since Liz's email on Monday. It's been two days. Soon to be three. :)

I Want To Magically Be in Good Shape Again!!!

Man, "easing" back in stinks. I hate feeling out of shape. I hate huffing and puffing on easier cardio than I was handling fine before. But I need to just get over it. It'll take some time. And I'll get back there. I hope. Not everyone can be like Amanda J. who claims after her 6 weeks off, she's running faster than ever. ...

Today I decided to do the gradual build workout. I thought it would be a nice way to push myself in a not horrible way. Recall that gradual build is when I do 5 minute intervals for 40 minutes on the treadmill, starting at 2.0% and increasing by 2.0% each time up to 14.0%. The last interval is the "cool down" at 9.0%. I was doing 3.5 mph walking because as Liz told my "legs are strong" but since I am coming back I tried it out at 3.0 mph. Somewhere in the 10.% interval, I was dying and lowered the speed to 2.5 mph. Also, I shamefully must admit that I held onto the treadmill for about 30 seconds and then a little bit later for 10 seconds before I downed the speed. Shameful!!!

My Stats:

Calories Burned: 403 (Treadmill)
Distance: 1.96 miles
Time: 43:09 (I cooled down at a reasonable incline after the 40 minutes was up as well)

I am glad to feel my muscles again. I really missed the feeling of having had a good workout while walking out of the car to go get my mail. It's hard to explain but there is something about freshly worked muscles that feels good. It's not painful (yet), but just affirms that you overcame the lazy couch potato inside of you and won the fitness battle that day. I missed it and am glad to have it back. :)

On an unrelated note, Liz emailed me today. So, she told me to keep a food log and email it to her once a week. I asked if it had to be *good* food choices, she must not have heard me because she answered, "Just write it all down for now." So I did. I wrote down every donut, every slice of pizza, every candy bar...and emailed it to her on Saturday night. She wrote back today. Oh. My. TERRIFYING. She let me have it. She also made some excellent points between the curse words and threat to break my fingers. I'm glad she did it--petrified to see her next to be sure, but glad. You'd better believe my butt will be getting back into gear for the near future...

Next workout: tomorrow or Thursday, cardio. :)

Every New Beginning Comes From Some Other Beginning's End

It's been a deep-in-thought-decisiony-type week. You all read my post from Monday about the changes and information I have been processing now that I am back at the gym. From Monday to Tuesday I thought long and hard about what I want/need to be successful. I came to the conclusion that the sun was setting on my professional training relationship with Devon. For the sake of full disclosure on the blog, here were the key factors in the decision:

Reasons to Stay Training With Devon:

1) Devon is an excellent trainer.
2) Devon is excellent at training me.
3) Devon knows me--the good, the bad and the ugly.
4) I have had 16 months of more or less success with Devon.
5) I like Devon as a person and enjoy spending time training with him.

Reasons to Get a New Trainer:

1) I am the type of person who needs to change things up periodically.
2) I am comfortable with Devon and so do not always heed his advice/respect him. (Read: I can be so whiny and complainy.)
3) I feel that going from the challenge of friend lifting weekly to bi-weekly regular trainer sessions is a step backward for *me*. The reason we started friend lifting in the first place was because I needed to change things up (See reason #1) and this was a great way to do it.
4) The diet support from Devon, although sound and well thought out, is not working for me regularly.

So, I thought about who, if anyone else, I would like to train with. Out of all the lifetime trainers that I know something about there is only one other person I feel has the same knowledge and expertise that Devon does: The One. The Only. Hard Core Liz.


Check out those shoulder muscles...Wowsas!!!

So, some of you may recall that HCL once told me (and several of my friends at various other times) that she would (and I quote) never train me. So, when I called her on Tuesday to broach the subject I informed her that I did, in fact, know what that meant, but also wanted to know if she would consider changing her mind. I truly believe that if I try to pull any monkey business by way of not giving it my all or having a bad attitude, she WILL drop me as a client. I have no doubt about that. I feel that fear will motivate me to bring it the same way friend lifting did with Devon. I knew I had to step up on those days because I wasn't paying him and so if I was not bringing it, he could end the fun at any moment. And I brought it. Every time.

On Wednesday, I called Devon and discussed my thought process with him. He was very supportive. He said that my needs are changing and he likened it to me saying: Devon, I want to be trained in Pilates. Devon doesn't do Pilates so of course I would go to someone else. He says this is the same thing. I told him "It's not you, it's me" and (unlike times I have used this line in the past) I meant it. Devon agreed that HCL was the best choice for me and told me I can still come to him with questions and stuff. How sweet. He even said he was going to have a meeting with HCL to fill her in on his lessons learned with me. :)

That brings me to today. I met with HCL to discuss my needs/wants and her stance on my attitude. We talked about goals and my emotional eating. We planned our way ahead. I'm VERY excited for this new beginning. My first session with HCL will be the first week I can lift again, on Tuesday, May 3rd. Mark your calendars, friends. I think this will be a good post. :) I am growing up and becoming a big girl and writing my own workouts!!!! No more daily workouts from Devon. In the beginning I will send them to Liz when I am done and she will tell me if I am not working hard enough or whatever. Also, Liz is making me write down EVERYTHING I eat starting today, this morning actually. Not fair making me go back in time to when I ate a whole container of chocolates for breakfast. But I did it. Because she told me to. :)

After signing paperwork to ensure Liz will get paid for our sessions, I did my cardio. Today I did 30 minutes on the treadmill with 3 minute intervals at inclines from 3 to 6 to 9 to 6 to 3 to 6 etc... The uphill battle cardio (shortened version) from before. I went the whole time at a speed of 3.5 mph. It was challenging but doable--the way every workout should be. :)

Next workout: Saturday? Sunday? Whatevs. :)

You Love My Honesty--Even in Posts Like This One

I went back to the gym today. And it went horribly. Not the actual exercising part. That was uneventful and fine. The pre-exercising part. Let me list the ways in narrative form.

But first, an explanation. I list this not to be whiny or complainy or vent (which I certainly need to/like to do) but also to continue to give you an unfiltered look into what makes me tick in this struggle.

1) Other Trainer Judgement

I got to the gym (early of course) and waited to meet with Devon (knowing he would be late--because he always is. When he is not having a paid session with me. He's on time for the paid ones--reasonable.) Devon was meeting with me to take First-Day-Back Measurements for comparison. Lynn was there finishing up a session with her new trainer. So I said hello. Lynn mentioned it was my first day back, so I got excited and told her all about my weight loss and my tummy tuck/arms procedures. I even showed her my before picture (which I had printed out to show Devon the comparison). I was not pleased with how the conversation went. Lynn told her I lost 90 lbs. She told me she lost 115 lbs and her skin shrank back over time--I was just impatient. I told her that 3 doctors told me it wouldn't. She gave me some line about genetics. I felt judged. I then shared with Lynn that I felt like my arms are not any smaller. This frustrates me--not because I hate my body and my arms, but rather--because I paid a large sum of money and if my arms don't change, I feel like it was wasted. Lynn's trainer interrupted me and asked me if I knew that I was beautiful. I understand where she was coming from, but felt so judged. What I heard was: you didn't need a tummy tuck, you're just impatient and you clearly feel so bad about yourself all you can do is spend obscene amounts of money to try to fix it. This is so frustrating because the surgeries TO ME were a celebration of the hard work I'd done--not some desperate attempt to "fix myself". Lynn mentioned the blog and I said that it has really inspired some people. She told me that not everyone can do it because they aren't determined so I should be careful what I say to people. Really? Ok--so what she is saying is that not everyone can work hard and diet and exercise, but apparently EVERYONE'S skin is super elastic and will stretch back over time. I was really put off--but it didn't get me down because I was SOOOO excited to see Devon and get back into the swing of things!!!

2) Bad Body Measurements

Devon finally showed and I gave him the appropriate excited greeting! The we went off to do measurements. They suck. I was upset. I asked Devon to put a positive spin on it for the blog, so he did.

My trainer says: of course the numbers are going to be up--you couldn't work out for 6 weeks. I expect this. Plus, you are still swollen. Once you get back into it, the numbers are going to go down fast. As for the calipers measurements, now my fat is detached from my muscles and so can be pulled farther which explains higher numbers.

So, there's the upbeat take on these:

Before (2 Mar 2011)/After (18 Apr 2011)
Weight: 193 lbs/195 lbs
Calipers, Arm: 24/28
Calipers, Stomach: 24/26
Calipers, Leg: 32/32
Body Fat %: 29.0%/30.7%
Inches, Waist: 39.75"/35.75"
Inches, Hips: 42.75"/41.75"
Inches, Bicep: 13.25"/12.5"

Summary: Gained 8 lbs (looks like 2, but they removed 6 lbs of loose skin, remember???). Gained 1.7% body fat (maybe, or the surgery affected the way it is measured). Lost inches all around. :)

3) Bad News from Devon

Devon no longer will be friend lifting with me. This made me *very* disappointed. I tried to explain to him why without sounding like a crazy stalker client. Sure, I enjoy hanging out with Devon for free (::grin::) but the disappointment is not about that. Friend lifting was the HIGHLIGHT of my week. I tried harder. Pushed harder. Was inspired by Devon. Felt like I contributed to help push Devon. Went for 2 1/2 to 3 hours and went hard the whole time. Challenged myself in ways that aren't possible while lifting alone. I could go on. Lifting on my own had turned into a means to do better and go harder while lifting with Devon. I'll have to try to find the passion for lifting alone again, but it will be hard.

And what sucks is that I can't be mad about it. He was doing me a favor. Favor's over. Super bad news...

4) Erin's Diet Plan Meets Devon's Negativity

As if all of this weren't enough, and I wasn't already on the verge of an Erin-cannot-handle-bad-news-or-change-well-at-all-and-might-cry-in-the-middle-of-the-gym breakdown, I told Devon that my friend and I were considering Weight Watchers. I am an All or Nothing Diet girl and this just *isn't* working for me. I need to learn how to eat flexibly within parameters--Weight Watchers is the clear choice for this. Devon is so opposed to this it's not even funny. He thinks it would be terrible for me. He says that he knows me and that I am the type of person who finds the loop holes in things and Weight Watchers has too many (he is correct about that attribute of my personality--I consider it an asset. ::grin::). I was actually able to list one on the spot (unlimited fruits--don't give me unlimited anything...). He tells me I should meet with the Lifetime Dietitian. I feel like he is trying to sell me on Lifetime crap. He could tell (perhaps by my not subtle eye rolling). We debated this a lot. We left saying that I would ease back into cardio and he thinks I should "talk to" the dietitian. I am going to do what *I* want when I decide what that is. Devon has had 16 months to help me with my eating. His time is up.

Anyways, I then went to ease back into cardio, quite dejected. I did the elliptical for 30 minutes. My stats:

Time: 30:00
Strides: 4497
Calories Burned: 348.3 (Elliptical)
Distance: 2.42 miles
Resistance: 5
Crossramp: 10

Next workout: Wednesday or Thursday. Doing 3 cardio this week. Will begin lifting again on Monday, May 2nd.

Blah. Where's Sean to take me to ice cream??? :(

I Missed You Too, DOMS.

I saw the Sauconys today. They aren't glittering. There's no heavenly music. Nope. They are just mean, dull shoes laughing at me and my inability to walk due to DOMS. Thanks a lot, Sauconys.

But DOMS is a good step back to recovery! At least that is what I told myself every time I stood up today and hobbled. :)

The Sauconys Made Me Do It

Today I decided to go for a walk. It's been over one week since the arm procedure and so I am able to workout again. I am still 4 days shy of the 6 week "No Workout" policy after the tummy tuck, so a walk it was. But...

While getting dressed, I saw them. There, sitting on my floor. All alone. So sad. My running shoes. The silver and teal detailing actually sparkled against the white sneaker backdrop. I even heard a audible *ding*. I thought, "I'll just try them on--make sure they still fit." You know, it's important for my feet to remember what they feel like.

Then, I went to comb my hair and thought that I should *maybe* put it back in pig tails--you know, in case my walk gets vigorous and I want my hair off of my neck. I haven't put it in pigtails since before the surgery. Once they were in and I saw the gleam in my eye and the cute pig tail poofs peeking out from the side of my head it was all over. My decisions were no longer my own: I was going to run. It may not be far. It may not be for long periods of time. But it was happening.

I warmed up with a walk for 5 minutes, then set off running. I ended up going for 30 minutes alternating walking and running in 5 minute intervals. I went 2.37 miles! That's a pace of 12:39 minutes/mile. For walking half of the time, I am SO pleased with that time!!! I went au naturale with no iPod or book to read--just me, my thoughts and a lovely 56° day with a light wind. A little slice of Heaven.

I know it may sound silly to you all, but I had this sort of quiet fear in the back of my head for the last 5 weeks and 3 days that I would lose all stamina, my muscles would all atrophy and I would forget how to exercise, forcing myself to start at square one when I returned. I know, I know, it sounds silly--but it was a real concern of mine!!! 6 weeks is a LONG time. Today's foray into fitness has shown me that my fear was completely unfounded! I am confident that it will take some time, but I *will* get back to where I was sooner than I feared!!! YAY!

You can feel free to yell at me for breaking the 6 week "No Workout" policy, but there's really no point. It already happened. And you know me well enough to know that I'm gonna do what I want regardless.

Also, I couldn't help myself--my running shoes and pig tails made me do it. :)

Past Due Updates

My sincerest apologies. My blog silence must have been killing all of you! On Saturday (April 2nd), I got my arms vaser liposuctioned, also known as "had the fat sucked out." This has turned me into a lazy recoverer and so I have not blog posted anything about recovery for my tummy tuck, the arm procedure or its recovery. Well, friends: it's time to catch up.

Tummy Tuck Update: Not much to report really. Still healing. The scar doesn't seem to be changing at all--at least not noticeably. I have not been eating well and so am not interested in taking measurements. :) I have an appointment with Devon to take measurements when I get back to the gym on April 18th. I will post those here. Still wearing the spanx-like garment daily but not overnight. I asked Dr. Alonso today if I needed to wear it while working out and he said no, but I should probably wear it as I ease back in the first week.

Vaser Lipo on my Arms: This is the same type of lipo I had done on my midsection/back during the tummy tuck. This time I did not need to go off of my blood thinners and also I was awake for the entire procedure!!! Also, it was at the med spa rather than the outpatient surgery center like last time as it is a very minor procedure. I arrived at Monarch Med Spa at 12pm for my appointment. They brought me into my room and let me pick out a movie to watch--I chose Elf, naturally. I then took 2 Vicodin, 2 Ativan and 1 Promethazine (for nausea)--a most excellent combination in my opinion. I then laid back and watched Elf--sleeping on and off--for about 2 hours. At some point, the nurse came in and gave me a Benadryl shot because I told her I wasn't sleeping. In hindsight, I was. Either way, I'm good with that decision. Around 2pm, they walked me to the operation location across the hall. I was "awake" for the whole thing, but not very "with it". I do remember telling Dr. Alonso that "I like a surgeon with a competitive attitude," when he was chatting with the nurse about how he was sure he could get a full 400 ccs out of my left arm. He also got 400 ccs out of my right arms. Yes, that is 800 cubic centimeters of arm fat, folks. Roughly 3/4 of a liter combined. There are 4 holes--two on each arm, right around the elbow, one of the inside and one on the outside. That's it. Dr. Alonso stitched them up, covered them in gauze and I put a compression garment on which will be worn 24/7 for the next 2 weeks.

After the procedure, I met Ryan and Meagan in the waiting room, patiently waiting to drive me home. I think I remember Meagan saying out loud something about how I looked fine and alert and I could almost drive myself home.--she would soon learn this was not the case. I scheduled a follow up appointment and Monarch gave me a present!!! It's a goody bag filled with bath-related treats (loofah, poof, wooden massager, etc...), all branded with the Monarch logo, of course! I was *SO* excited for my present!!! They put the post-op paperwork, my appointment card and my present in a bag and I was off!

I insisted we stop at Panera Bread as I was hungry. I skipped lunch that day and wanted food. I also insisted on going in with Meagan to get it. It was at that point that I realized I could not walk straight. I ordered (apparently quite coherently even though the woman did not understand me and I had to repeat it several times) and as we were waiting for my food someone commented that my elbow was covered in blood/pink ooze. It was true. Meagan assured them I was fine. Meagan and Ryan saw to it that I made it home okay and ate everything fine. They offered (apparently numerous times) to help me clean up my compression garment as my left elbow region was covered in blood/pink ooze. I quite forcefully told them NO and that I was NOT taking off the garment until at least the next day. They then left. About 5 minutes later I apparently called them and asked where my prescriptions were and if we left them at the med center!!!! Meagan calmly told me they were right in front of me on my coffee table. I found them. :) I also quickly took off my compression garment, spot cleaned the arm and rebandaged my wounds. I then used my hair dryer to dry the arm of the garment. I promptly took a nap.

At this point, Amy came by with dinner and when I woke up to let her in, my left elbow was AGAIN covered in ooze. We ate and then Amy helped me wash the arm...again...and blow dry it and rebandage the wounds. This time, we got wise. We used gauze and as an added back up: maxi pads. Yup. My left arm was wrapped in 3 over night maxi pads and a lot of tape. And it worked. Like. A. Charm. ;) (Note: my right arm did not leak at all.) I also was very concerned about the appointment I made for later in the week. I had no memory of when it was. I asked Meagan--she didn't see me make it. She told me to call them. It was late Saturday night, they were closed. Amy said I could call them too. I told her I already knew that meanly (apparently, loopy Erin = blunt and harsh Erin--but still lovably so). The next day I found my bag with the present, the post op instructions and my appt card. Since I forgot about its existence, it was like getting a present ALL OVER AGAIN and I knew when my appt was!!!! Double win.

Since the initial fun, here are some notes about week 1 of recovery:

Pain: Not too bad, but any pain stinks. My arms from elbow to shoulders are basically two large bruises. On Monday, my arms literally were 5 out of the 6 colors of the rainbow (red, yellow, green, blue and purple). By Tuesday, they had faded to mostly yellow and green with deep red spots throughout. I've taken a total of 6 tylenol and 0 vicodin since leaving the med spa on Saturday.

Antibiotic: I hated it. It tasted gross and made me sick. It was Keflex. Luckily it was only for 5 days, but BOY! am I glad that's over.

Compression Garment: This is the compression garment I got based off of Darby's (med spa employee/my bud) recommendation. I like it, but it was pricey when you include shipping (they only have overnight shipping!--expensive!), and so I only got one. Combine this with the fact that I have to wear it 24/7 for 2 weeks and it makes for a big pain in the you-know-where. I have to hand-wash it, then blow dry it dry so I can put it right back on. The process takes between 45 minutes and an hour and when I am done, the garment isn't fully dry. I am just usually over it and it is dry "enough" to wear. :) Having said that, is this inconvenience worth an extra ~$70 for another garment? Nope! I'll hand-wash and blow dry. :) Having anything tight on your body for 24/7 gets irritating, but after 6 days it isn't so bad. And hey, only 8 days left! At that point, I will wear it to bed only. The velcro strap across the front is visible in most shirts I wear, so I just don't fasten it during the business day. It doesn't do much anyways.

Lotion/Massage: Just like with the midsection/back lipo, I need to apply lotion and massage my arms. I just started that today as the pain is getting much better. For some reason, SEVERAL strangers felt the need to touch my arms this week not knowing it hurt so bad!!! Now it's just annoying not intense pain like it was. I did my best to wince internally to not make them feel bad.

6 day check-up: Today I went to see Dr. Alonso. He removed the stitches and checked out the first week's progress. He is *very* pleased with the results so far. I am super skeptical about this whole arms thing--and he knows this. I told him that I feel like my arms look exactly the same. I understand they are swollen still and the skin has to tighten up and these things take time, but NOW they look the same to me. He made me hold up a mirror and hold out my arm and he held my before picture behind it. I still don't see what he sees, but I do trust that he does this a lot and knows what to look for. Oh! This reminds me: I posted before "arms" pictures to the tummy tuck album. I will post afters when I am good and ready to. :) Maybe at 2 weeks? My arms have been itchy inside the garment and so I usually itch them. After the stitches were removed today, the wounds were itchy. I didn't even think about it but noticed big red blood marks on the right arm of my sweater. Yup, I scratched them open accidentally and they bled through my garment and my sweater. Sigh. They are bandaged up and my garment and sweater have been spot cleaned. My left arm is fine *this* time. I just cannot win with these wounds!!!

Alright. I think that's all I got. If anyone has any questions about the procedure or recovery that is unanswered, please ask!

One Month and One Day

Hello!

I got home super late last night and so did not do a "One Month Down" post. For this, I apologize. I am not taking pictures because I am tired and don't feel like it and don't think it looks different at all.

As for pain, it's pretty low. It no longer hurts to cough, sneeze and laugh. I feel it, but not pain--more of an awareness that healing is still happening. Also, the sides and back still feel like a bruise. (I think the lipo is more painful than the tummy tuck!) My clothes still fit the same. I don't think I am actually getting any smaller, but I must be. Or maybe not. I have not been eating on the diet this week (another reason I am not interested in taking a photo of my bare midsection). I really hope to get back on track. I have felt pretty bad all week. Not surgery-related. Not sick. I truly believe the rainy, blah weather is messing with my head pressure. Anyways, I am optimistic I will bounce back soon. :)

Also, in other news, I was scheduled to have my arms vaser lipo-ed on Saturday, April 9th but they have an opening tomorrow and so I am going to do it then!!! This has several benefits:

1) I am impatient--any time I do not have to wait is good;
2) I feel much better post-tummy tuck than expected and so feel up to it; and
3) I have to wait 1 month after the procedure to lift weights again, this allows me to do this one week sooner!!!!!

I will have before and after pictures!!!! I am SO excited! But not excited that if it is anything like the lipo I had on my back and sides, after one month it will still hurt like a bruise. :( Alas, the pain is temporary. :)

Wish me luck tomorrow!!!