Meggie ::HEARTS:: the 'Pile Up of Love'

Today was a very, very extra-special day! Not only did my mom join me for my three-mile run by biking alongside me, but Meggie got to be awoken by three adorable nieces jumping on her in bed in a maneuver referred to by Cassandra as the 'Pile Up of Love'.

On our run in the boonies of central New Hampshire, my mom and I were able to run/ride on the appropriate sides of the road (me on the left, her on the right) and still have a conversation because of the narrow roads. There was no danger of traffic because: 1) it was 6:30am on a holiday; and 2) population of New Hampton is roughly equivalent to the number of men I have dated in the last 10 years.

While running, riding and conversating, my mom informed me that she was only out with me for one reason: to make the blog. Then she quickly added a second motivation. Apparently, she frequently sees moose and bear tracks on the side of the road. Excellent, mom. So, what exactly was her plan other than getting out of dodge on her bike faster than me who was on foot. I called her out on this and through laughter she told me she could 'get to help quickly'. Aww, shucks, mom...

My stats:

Total Distance: 3.00 miles
Total Time:31:38
Calories Burned: 397
Average Pace: 10:38 min/mile
Average HR: 155

Next workout: tomorrow! Some sort of in-home strength at Josh and Lisa's!

Early Morning Lifting...

This morning I awoke at the wonderfully bright and early hour of 6 am to lift before my fun-filled family day! I am dedicated...and hard core. My sister's new place has a pretty sweet gym set up. It has the LifeFitness Fit Center Fit3. The Fit3 has 3 general machine areas: leg, back and chest/shoulders. If I ever were to invest in a home gym set-up, I think this one would be great; it morphs into many things, but still maintains the feeling of the true machine. I like it.

Here is my lifting from ABD:

Leg Extensions x 4sets x 10r @ 100lbs
Leg Curls x 5 sets x 15 reps @ 90lbs
(The machine was actually a lying leg curl machine, so I dorpped the weight to
60 lbs.)
Chest Press x 3s x 8r @ 45lbs (There was no increments of 5, I
did 50 lbs.)
Lat Pulldown x 4 sets x 12 reps @ 55lbs (See above, 60
lbs.)
Shoulder Presses x 3s x 8r @ 30lbs (I accidentally did 50 lbs.
And it was quite reasonable.)
Biceps Curls x 3 sets x 12 reps @ 40lbs (This
was WAY too heavy. I did 30 lbs.)
Triceps Pushdowns x 3s x 10r @ 40lbs
Stability Ball Crunches x 4s x 25r (Super deflated SB...Pitiful...)
Supermans x 3s x 10r @ 10 second holds

I am supposed to cross-train today for marathon training. I did get a decent cool down walk after the lifting but would like to take a longer walk this afternoon. We'll see...

Next workout: 3 mile run tomorrow!

Week One of Marathon Training: DONE!

Greetings from New Hampshire! While I am busying living free or dying and visiting with loved ones and/or family (joking...), I am also kicking butt on my workouts!

Today I had my first long run of the marathon training plan--a mere six miles. But I was TERRIFIED due to my inability to run 3 miles both Wednesday and Thursday of this week. I set out after a quick prayer for help and ran, ran, ran!

I ran from my sister's house in Bedford ALL the way to Merrimack (my old stomping grounds!) and back. I really needed to kick butt on this run or I would have seriously reconsidered this whole marathon idea... And I did! And now I only have 20.2 more miles to go... YIKES!

My stats:

Total Time: 1:04:01
Total Distance: 6.00 miles
Calories Burned: 801
Average Pace: 10:40 min/mile
Average Heart Rate: 169

I feel great! I could have kept going! I will post the route when I return to MD and can sync my GPS watch with my computer.

Next workout: some sort of strength and cross-training (slow walk) tomorrow!!!

Off Day Offerings: Corman-xxxxxxx xxxxxxx-Corman Decathlon

Mr. xxxxxxx and I have entered into a Decathlon to prove...well...I'm not sure what exactly we are trying to prove... Maybe awesomeness??? Anyways, the leaderboard can be found here: https://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AT5q9xN5U9sFZGdqOHE2OWdfMTRjZ2RzeHZrdg&hl=en

The dates are a rough estimate I put together. They are still pending xxxxxxx approval. Once he approves, if there is an event you would like to attend (and cheer for me), let me know! If it is not at work, you can come!

I am down two events to zero right now. But I am poised to make a comeback... Stay tuned for results!!!

Next workout, tomorrow! Running 6 miles...

It *Actually* Exists!

Today, I lifted in the morning and went 3 miles in the afternoon. After my 3 miles, I went to Devon's office (apparently he has one) and we talked about me getting back on track and my new diet for a bit. While there he brought up an email I had sent him...and I saw his Outlook file structure. You see... ABD frequently... jokes... about 'the Corman file' in his inbox. We always giggle. So funny, Devon. I email so much I have my own email folder. Ha. Hilarious. So... It exists (my apologies for the poor photo quality).



Wow. I'm not gonna lie: I'm kind of proud. Among the likes of 'Boss Lady' and 'Nutrition', sits 'The Corman File'. ::grin::

Here is my lifting from this morning:

Hack Squats x 5s x 8r @ 180lbs
Drop Set Lying Leg Curls x 4s x 3r @ 70-60-50-40lbs
Walking Lunges x 4s x 12r @ 40lbs
Full Length Assisted Dips for Chest x 4s x 8r @ 40lbs or less (I did 40 lbs assistance).
Full Length Assisted Pull-ups x 3s x 12r @ 60lbs or less (I only did 7 of these. Pull-up Fail.)
Standing Arnold Presses x 3s x 10r @ 20lbs
Seated Hammer Curls x 4s x 10r @ 20lbs
Lying Skull Crushers x 3s x 15r @ 40-50lbs (I used a 40 lb BB).

Then I did 3 miles in the evening as part of my marathon training. I felt sick from all of the cheating I have been doing on my diet. I walked a lot of it. Stats:

Calories Burned: 296 (Treadmill)/ 305 (HR Monitor)
Total Miles: 3.00
Time: 45:00
Ending HR: 136

At this point I talked to Devon about how I hated that I had to walk most of the 3 miles today because I ate poorly. He told me I was fat. Nicely. But he did. He said my face was getting 'rounder'. He worked on my diet a bit. I now need to mark up a food list with things I will and won't eat. I will give it to him tomorrow and then he will make me a food plan. The plan is 1500 calories a day and is roughly 40% carbs, 30% fats and 30% proteins. I will, of course, post it when I get it. Devon also told me that he eats 4,000 calories per day! UGH! I hate him. And he was all whiny like: Woe is me, it's sooo hard to eat soooo much. No sympathy, ABD. NONE.

Next workout, Saturday! Running 6 miles!

Ryan 2, Erin 0

Sigh. Ryan beat me in the Decathlon 5K (part of the Michael Scott Celebrity Pro-Am Fun Run Race for the Cure Series). To be honest, I sort of phoned it in. I walked for a lot of it. You see, Ryan started out super fast! I looked at my GPS watch and we were going 6:48 min/mile! I eased off expecting him to tire out and he did. When I approached him he started running again. I thought, "This blows! He got a rest period. I did not." So next time I caught up to him walking, I walked too. Once I started pacing with Ryan's walking breaks, I lost my umph to run at all. It was HOT and HUMID. So, he won. I lost. :(

Finish line picture:



Ryan's lovely wife, Meag, cheering us on:



Ok. That *is* Meag...but she is not actually in the act of cheering us on there... It's just the only picture she sent me.

Ryan did say that I really tested him. He was ti-ired at the end. Had I run the whole thing and not phoned it in, I would have beat him easily. But if I hadn't walked, he probably wouldn't have walked as much either, so who knows...

I am excited for the next 8 events. I feel like I can take him in the baking events...

Next workout, lifting. *Maybe* tomorrow morning before my doctor's appt. Maybe late tomorrow night... :)

ABD is Strong.

And apparently he felt like today should be Man-handle Erin Day. And I was. Man-handled. The whole session.

The session began with me giving him the note from Amy. This note brought ABD so much joy. I have never seen him smile so big. He loved it. He said that apparently we (him and Amy) were in it together and I was having an intervention. He also grinned and said it was going to go into my file. Well done, Amy. You made Devon's day.

I weighed in. I'm up like 7 pounds. Not surprising. I ate whatever I wanted. Also, my fridge died this morning and won't be fixed til the 4th earliest. I am not able to buy diet food and keep it cold until then. :)

While walking to the weight floor, he mentioned that he was tired. I said I was tired too and suggested we both go lay down. There was a split second of silence until I realized what I said and quickly added: 'SEPARATELY!' But it was too late. The look of horror on ABD's face was priceless...

Devon then proceeded to kick my butt. I asked him if it was because I cheated for two weeks or because of Amy's note or because he was going to make it this rough anyways. He got his cocky smile and said that I will never know. JERKFACE! The lifting:

45° Leg Press 1(10) + 1(10) +2(20): 140 lbs, 30 reps, 4 sets
Seated Leg Curls: 95 lbs, 20 reps, 4 sets
Wall Runs: BW, 30 seconds, 5 sets
SB Horizontal Body Rows: BW, 10 reps, 4 sets
Ballistic BB Chest Press: 65 lbs, 5 reps, 5 sets *SUPERSET with Push-Ups
Plyo Push-Ups: BW, 5 reps, 5 sets *SUPERSET with Ballistic Chest Press
AA DB Bicep Curls: 17.5 lb DBs, 12 reps each arm, 3 sets
Cable Torso Twist: 12.5 lbs, 20 reps each side, 3 sets

Ugh. It was rough. The leg press was 10 reps left leg, followed by 10 reps right leg, followed by 20 reps both legs. Yes. It *does* stink really bad. In case you were wondering.

Now for man-handling stories!

1) I made the mistake of pointing my finger at ABD. He took it. And did not give it back for some time. And twisted it. And it hurt. Bad.

2) At one point he grabbed both of my fists with his massive hulky man hands and was telling me something serious (like trying to figure out why I cheat or something lame like that) and was moving my hands side to side as he was speaking. I think he was trying to get my attention and make a serious point but I didn't really hear what he was saying because I kept thinking that it was funny cause it looked like we were dancing and I was trying not to giggle out loud...

3) As we were finishing up I started to walk to the locker room and he told me I was going the wrong way like he does when I don't go cool down and stretch. I told him I was not interested in cooling down and stretching. He told me to go do it. I told him to MAKE ME. I promptly began to back away as quickly as possible. But he was quicker. And stronger. And he physically pushed me to a treadmill. I then thought, he can't possibly get me *onto* the treadmill, but he hit the back of my leg in the perfect place to make me step up while he was pushing me. The man is skilled. He then kept one hand on my back and set the treadmill. Well done, ABD. Well. Done.

Sigh. I need to get motivated again. Next workout tomorrow. I race my intern around Centennial Park. Bring it, Ryan! BRING. IT.

A Glimpse Into EE-ABD Email Conversations

Today, I ran 3 miles with Amy! It was DAY ONE of my Marathon training program! I have OFFICIALLY begun!!!!! So scary! So exciting! It was a good run, too! Stats:

Distance: 3.00 miles
Total time: 35:29
Average Pace: 11:50/mile
Calories Burned: 380
Average Heart Rate: 157

We then went to Starbucks where I promptly re-consumed all 380 of those calories and then some. :) Amy decided to write ABD a note for our session tomorrow. I believe she is telling him to whip me into shape...we shall see... Stay tuned, loyal fanbase. This story should be good.

Also, while at Starbucks, ABD responded to an email I sent him. Here are the points I sent him and his responses. I typically censor this blog, but will quote him verbatim for emphasis. The numbered items are what I emailed him. The R#'s are his responses.

----------------
Other Items
----------------
1) Diet please. I am still eating whatever I want. I have gained like 10 pounds.
2) The workouts are hard. Maybe the weights you are giving me are too heavy, In particular all these shoulder presses with 25 lb dumbbells...too much. And the bicep curls with 25 lb dumbbells...too much. It's really hard.
3) I miss you and am SO excited for Tuesday!!!

R1) I'm working on it. In the mean time, why are you being so self-destructive?
R2) Quit your bitching, lift the weight.
R3) Awwww

I ::heart:: Devon. So much.

Next workout tomorrow with ABD!!!

ABD Must Be Feeling Better...Ugh.

Last night, ABD emailed me a lifting routine for today. He must be feeling better. Booooo. I was going to slack off and make an easy lifting routine for myself. ABD gave me a NOT easy lifting routine. It was, in fact, very difficult. Here it is:

Seated Leg Extensions x 5s x 12r @ 95 lbs
Standing Leg Curls x 4s x 15r @ 25-30 lbs (FreeMotion Machine. It's right in front of the lying leg curls. Stand up straight. Only move at the knee, not the hip) (I did 25 lbs.)
Single Arm Seated Row x 3s x 15r @ 55-65 lbs (Nautilus Machine. Right next to the T-Bar Row. Do one arm at a time) (I did 55 lbs.)
Neutral-Grip Flat DB Presses x 4s x 10r @ 25-30 lbs (Hands face each other) (I used 25 lb DBs.)
Pulldowns x 3s x 10r @ 60-70lbs (FreeMotion Machine) (I did 60 lbs.)
Seated Dumbbell Shoulder Press x 3s x 15r @ 25-30 lbs (I used 25 lb DBs.)
Standing Dumbbell Biceps Curls x 4s x 8r @ 25-30lbs (I used 25 lb DBs.)
Seated Cable Kickbacks x 4s x 15r @ 22.5-32.5 lbs (FreeMotion Machine. The one closest to the restrooms. You'll need two of the longer handles. Keep your palms up, bring down to shoulder height, extend down flexing the triceps, return to shoulder height) (I did 25 lbs.)
Decline Bench Alternating Crunches x 3s x 15r (hands across the chest, come up and over to one side, back down and repeat on the other side. That counts as one)
Hanging Leg Scissors x 3s x 15r (legs fully extended, alternate legs)

Oh the pain. But I did it. All.

Next workout: Day One of my MARATHON TRAINING!!! I will run 3 miles! It will either be Monday morning or Tuesday morning....still TBD...

FL Was Fun, But I Missed My Amy...

...and everyone else. :) But, in particular, I missed running and chatting with Amy. She's kind of awesome...I'm just saying.

The final Florida recap (recall, I left you with my lifting Tuesday).

Wednesday: I was supposed to run, but I pulled a muscle of some sort. According to my detailed description to ABD (Quote from my email: It is on the outer side of my right leg, toward the back and kind of is part of my butt and part of my upper leg. So I think glute, no?) I probably pulled my glute or my pirifirmis (whatever THAT is). He told me how to stretch it and told me to rest it and not run. Ok! So, I rested Wednesday.

Thursday: rest day. Fly back to Maryland! Also, my glute or pirifirmis was feeling much better...

Friday: I was supposed to lift today. I was supposed to also get my new marathon training diet on Thursday. I texted ABD on Thursday morning and reminded him of this threatening to eat whatever I wanted to if he didn't get me my diet. He responded that he was very sick and in pain so he wouldn't be sending me anything but I was not allowed to eat whatever I wanted. Since I have no diet and no lifting plan, I enjoyed Chick-Fil-A for dinner and went running instead of lifting. :) My running stats:

Distance: 2.39 miles
Total time: 26:08
Average Pace: 10:54/mile
Calories Burned: 318
Average Heart Rate: 163

We cool-down walked for awhile, but I have no stats for that.

Next workout was supposed to be cardio tomorrow, but since I cardio-ed today and am super busy, I am not working out tomorrow and will cardio or MAYBE lift on Sunday...

Lifted and a Short Run...

Today I did the following lifting routine:

Leg Extensions x 4s x 12r @ 100-110lbs (I did 100 lbs.)
Single Leg Dumbbell Deadlifts x 4s x 10r @ 35-40lbs (one foot on the ground (working leg), one foot propped behind you on a bench / step) (I used 35 lb DBs.)
Flat Dumbbell Flyes x 3s x 15r @ 15-20r (I used 15 lb DBs.)
Bent-over Dumbbell Rows x 4s x 8r @ 30-35lbs (I used 30 lb DBs.)
Dumbbell Side Raises x 3s x 12r @ 10-15lbs (I used 10 lb DBs.)
Machine Biceps x 4s x 8r @ 40lbs
Lying Dumbbell Triceps Extensions x 4s x 15r @ 10-15lbs (I used 10 lb DBs.)
Bicycles x 5 cycles of 30sec on, 30sec off
Plank x 3s x 10r @ 10 second holds (I only did 2 sets.)

Then I ran over to Dunkin Donuts (~0.5 miles) and got a bagel sandwich and coffee. All the calories I burned: UNDO. :)

Probably gonna skip the run I planned for tomorrow. I think I pulled my right glute lifting Sunday. I have an email out to ABD to see what I should do. Stay tuned!

Florida Exercising

So, I caved and bought internet. Yes, the Hyatt Regency Grand Cypress does NOT have free internet, ANYWHERE. Not in the lobby. Not at the conference. NOWHERE. I may yelp-slam them. But that would require getting a yelp account and I am not sure I care that much. But I will slam them here. Loser Hyatt Regency Grand Cypress! But I digress.

I am going to take a few steps back to explain some stuff and make an addendum to the Great Urban Race post.

Friday: Friday I was supposed to lift. I texted Devon and told him I didn't feel like it. I expected him to tell me I had to. He didn't. I didn't lift. I told him that was a trainer fail. He responded that he has always maintained that he will never make me do anything--my motivation needs to come from within. I told him I need him to. He asked me what i would do when he was gone. I told him he'd be my trainer forever. He did not text me back after that...

Saturday: This was the Great Urban Race day, detailed in the previous post. I finally mapped the course we took. I think it is pretty close to accurate. Here is the link to the map. It is 6.54 miles. This is before we metro-ed back to the finish. It does not include the walk from the Columbia Heights Metro to the park where the finish was. This was another 1.11 miles.

Sunday: I was a dedicated rock star on Sunday. As it concerns exercise. I have been a junk food maniac since Thursday. ABD even called me 'little miss cheater pants' which I secretly loved. I woke up at 5 am after going to bed at the early hour of 1:30 am. I then drove all over northern MD and then headed to the airport. On the airplane I planned on sleeping, but the 8-ish year old boy behind me had other plans which involved seat kicking, repeated tray table lowering (followed by repeated tray table raising) and asking every possible question in the world (e.g. Why haven't we taken off yet? Why are we above the clouds? Why are we landing? etc...). So I got about 20-25 minutes. A decent power nap. I arrived at my hotel around 1:45 pm. At this point I had two choices: 1) sleep until the opening session at 4:45 pm; or 2) lift at the hotel gym. I *chose* to be a rock star and lift. It was rough. ABD did not take it easy on me. But I did it. Because I am a ROCK STAR. The lifting:

Leg Press x 4s x 15r @ 175lbs
Leg Curls x 4s x 20r @ 100lbs
Chest Press x 3s x 8r @ 50lbs
Lat Pulldown x 4s x 10r @ 60-70lbs (I did 60 lbs.)
Standing Dumbbell Shoulder Presses x 3s x 12r @ 25-30lbs (I used 25 lb DBs and only made it through 10 reps on the 3rd set.)
Standing Dummbell Curls x 3s x 12r @ 20-25lbs (I used 20 lb DBs.)
Machine Triceps x 4s x 15r @ 40lbs
Floor Crunches x 3s x 25r
Lying Leg Raises x 3s x 20r
Supermans x 4s x 15r

Monday: Today I was supposed to run outside. We stayed out kind of late last night and I had to ge up early this morning. Then we had plans to go out to dinner and then to a jazz club so I made the decision not to run. :) Well, I have been eating junk and am super tired. That makes me not want to run and want to run all at the same time. While on a break I was talking to these two men about whatever and one of them told me about a women he met at the last conference he went to who was *ALSO* expecting. I'll pause now to allow time for you to gasp in shock and horror like I did internally. ... Ok. I handled it like a rock star and made him feel like it was no big deal. He got off *much* easier than he should have. And as much as I don't care about strangers' opinions of me, I am super frustrated. I mean, I've lost 91 pounds. I am in the best shape of my life. I am at a healthy weight. And I look pregnant to him?!?! When will it end? Will it ever end? ::sigh:: Maybe it was a poorly cut dress? I probably won't wear it again. EVER. Anyways, that little bit of public humiliation was enough to motivate me to run! So I bailed on dinner and jazz and ran instead. I went over to Downtown Disney and back which was 3 miles. I did it in 30:58 which is a 10:20 pace. Burned 397 calories.

Next workout: tomorrow, lifting.

The Great Urban Race!

Today was Washington DC Day for me and my friend Lisa! Washington DC is fun!!!! Who knew?

We started the day participating in The Great Urban Race, then went to the DC United Game!!! Fun times had by all!

The Great Urban Race is a race for teams of 2 and you get 12 clues. You can skip one clue and have to do 11. You can do the clues in any order, so the amount of running/walking depends on your planning skills. You can use public transportation but no cars or taxis etc...

Lisa and I knew we couldn't win and didn't even know if we could complete it. So we decided that we would participate in the other fun aspect of the race which was the costumes. Many teams dress up in ridiculous costumes to do the race. As Lisa and I put it, we focused more on the "GREAT" part, than the "RACE" part. :) You have 5 hours to attempt to complete it. We dressed up as the 'Anarctican Gladiators'. I was FROSTBITE. Lisa was GLACIER. We were both AMAZING:



Complete photos and descriptions can be found here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=163550&id=646347013&l=f17d4df3c9.

With the help of my iPhone and a few phone calls to Phil (Thanks, Dad!) we figured out everywhere we needed to go and plotted them on the map they gave us. We then worked our way around the city systematically. We think we went the most efficient way, but who knows. They say that you average between 6 and 7 miles and it seems that we did. I will map it out later, but a quick map shows that. We worked our way from north to south, then metro-ed back to the finish! We got there about 4pm but we done at 3. We stopped for coffee and chatted with some other teams...again, we focused on GREAT, not RACE. :)

We are so so so happy that we finished! We are rock stars. As for the costume contest--we don't want to talk about it. And we will never watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory ever again...

The DC United Game was also super fun! The didn't win (::frown::) but Lisa and I had a great time in the crazy fan section!!!!



Off to Florida! :)

Off Day Offerings: Preview of Upcoming Posts (Or Lack Thereof)

Today was a rest day from exercising--but not from life. CRAZY BUSY life day...but in a good way. I did manage to *squeeze* in a pedicure for my upcoming Florida trip (more on this later).

For my off day post, I will fill you in on what's to come to: 1) tantalize you into staying tuned; and 2) blog something to appease the 'stadium of adoring fans' that is my #1 fan, Lynn (1FL? Yes... I like it. 1FL, do you like it too?), and have some sort of blog entry today even though it is late and I am tired--I love my fans *that* much... So! Here is a glimpse of the future...

Tomorrow: I lift with Amy at her gym, the Y in Ellicott City! I am excited to see how the lower class exercises... (HA! I am such a snooty, snooty Lifetime snob!) No really, I am excited to go to the Y, because I have never been before and it means chilling with Amy!!! Then we will get spray tans. It's my first. I am scared. Meagan recommends it. We shall see...

Saturday: I will be participating in The Great Urban Race with my sister (by forced adoption into her family), Lisa. We have an ice cube's chance in hell of winning the race, so we are going for the Best Costume prize. Well, not really, but we *are* wearing RIDICULOUS costumes. I don't want to spoil the surprise...and there will most certainly be pictures...perhaps they will even be posted here... The information I will leak to the press is that the costumes involve some spandex, some fur trimming and some glitter fabric paint. Oh, and maribou. There *must* be maribou...

Sunday: I fly to Florida!!!! In Florida, I have a very, very, very important business trip...to a very, very, very important conference. There will be very, very, very important note-taking, etc... And then...I *guess* I will squeeze in some fun time to go to Epcot for dinner one night, swim with dolphins at Discovery Cove and go to Sea World. In between the very, very, very important work...of course. :) I *am* bringing my computer, but if the access to the interwebs is not free I won't be paying for it most likely, so my blogging may or may not happen. The plan is:

Sunday: lift
Monday: run outside
Tuesday: lift (and run outside? or...)
Wednesday: run outside (or rest? it's dolphin swimming day...)
Thursday: rest day
*There may also be lap swimming intermittently in the gorgeous hotel/resort pool. You know, the hotel of my very, very, very importa-- You get the point. :)

Friday: I'll be home now. I fly back thursday night. ::sigh:: I'll be lifting and blogging and sad that I am away from Florida... Oh! And away from my very, very, very important business. ;)

Yet Another PR!

Today I participated in a 5K race. I was actually kind of nervous about it since I have been doing so well on other races lately I was worried I would disappoint. The 10K and Half Marathon were both fairly flat courses and this 5K was moderately hilly. Also, I am convinced that these fast times are flukes and it will just stop sometime soon. I was hoping for a 33 minute time which would be good for me and a PR since my previous PR was 36:47 and from 2006, so my recent PR was like 37:37 or something. Anyways. I PR-ED IN AN AMAZING, AMAZING, UNBELIEVABLE WAY!!!! According to my watch, I finished in 26:56--an 8:41 min/mile pace!!! Wow. Wow! WOW!!! I am blown away! And I feel great! I was internally freaking out about beginning my marathon training soon--this has helped with that a bit. Each time I do well in a race it makes me feel more and more like a legitimate runner. I love it!

Two funny stories:

1) There is between 0.25 and 0.5 miles of straight-ish home stretch on this course. I was running in and there were two guys right behind me. One of them said: 'Don't back off now, you're bringing the two of us in.' I smiled and laughed and then sped up thinking I would encourage them to finish strong! He yelled, "And you've lost us!!!' Oops. :)

2) When finished, Holly Holly was there cheering me (and several other people) on. Her brother-in-law, Adam, is a RIDICULOUS runner. Like super-human. Like, the whitest Kenyan I've ever met. Anyways, I told her my time, 26:56 and was wondering what the per mile pace was. She said Adam would know. Now, I try to avoid Adam because he is my running hero. He is like a legend to me. I don't want to be that close to awesomeness. But he saw us and came over to say hi. So I met The Amazing Adam. It was magical. We asked him what my pace was and he didn't know. I made the comment that I had just assumed he knew them all since he'd run them all. He flashed an amazing smile and said, "I know all the fast ones." Oh snap. I feel honored to have been burned by TAA.

Next workout: FRIDAY, lifting. Tomorrow will be a well-deserved rest day!

"See, *THIS* is What Sarcasm Gets You."

ABD session day! There is much to discuss, so I will provide a table of contents:

1) Weight Loss for the Week
2) Body Fat Measurements
3) The Lifting
4) Funny Stories from the Session
5) My Goals Have Changed; Allow Me to Share Them With You

Let's get right down to business.

1) Weight Loss for the Week

I lost 11 pounds! Seeing as how I gained 12 in last week's eating binge, all in all one pound up is great! I'll take it!

2) Body Fat Measurements

ABD took body fat measurements today! It had been 8 weeks since they were done before. At that point I was 24% body fat. Today...drum roll please...I am 17.2% body fat!!!! THIS IS EXCELLENT! The goal for the average healthy person is 20%. I asked Devon if I was unhealthy and he said no! I am great!!!!! What an awesome feeling to know that my body is where it should be. I have arrived. And I am so happy! Losing 7% body fat in 8 weeks is so good for my ego. ;) I also asked him to measure my waist and hip with the measuring tape because I was curious. My waist is 30.5" and my hips are 37.75". The waist-to-hip ratio is 0.8 which is in the healthy range (0.6-0.8) mentioned in my off day post this week!!!

3) The Lifting

Walking BB Lunge to Calf Raise: 70 lbs, 12 reps each leg, 4 sets
Machine Glutes: 55 kg, 10 reps each leg, 3 sets *superset with waiter's bows
Waiter's Bow: 35 lbs, 10 reps, 3 sets *superset with machine glutes
Step Ups: 30 lb DB, 15 reps each leg, 3 sets
Bent-over DB Row w/ Rotation: 30 lb DB, 10 reps each side, 3 sets
Assisted Dips for Chest: 76 lbs, 12 reps; 64 lbs, 12 reps; 52 lbs, 12 reps; 40 lbs, 12 reps; 28 lbs, 12 reps *This may look very hard to you. It was. See story below as to WHY.
Kneeling Cable Shoulder Ext: 32.5 lbs, 10 reps, 3 sets
DB Front Raise to Side Raise: 10 lbs, 10 reps, 3 sets

4) Funny Stories from the Session

Ah, everyone's favorite part! I hope to not disappoint.

a) While doing body fat measurements, I realized that I had reached a major goal by dipping below 20% body fat. I had warned ABD that when I hit my goal we would embrace. When I warned him, he looked terrified. I looked at him and said, "I hit a goal! Here comes your hug!!!" And squeezed him as tight as I could. He claimed to be unhappy by saying something like: "You're touching me," in a disgusted voice, but I think we all know he LOVED it.

b) While doing the assisted dips, ABD set it for 76 lbs assistance. It was SO easy. He asked how it was when I was completing the first set and I grinned and said: GREAT! I then kept my foot on the assistance bar to keep the weights separated just a touch so he couldn't change them. He quickly figured out my plan and used his big man muscles to counter my body weight and change the weight to 64 lbs. I tried the same thing after set two. He, again, countered my body weight and moved it to 52 lbs. This should have been the end since he only had 3 sets written down on my workout sheet. He then told me I wasn't done. I said, "But you only have 3 sets written down..." He said, "I have a pen," and moved the weight to a mere 40 lbs. Whatever, ABD. I can take it. So I kicked its butt, like I do, and informed him that I hate him and his ink--with a smile of course. ABD *THEN* changed the weight to only 28 lbs assistance!!! WHAT?!?! So, a FIFTH set of dips at a ridiculously low level of assistance... He is clearly trying to kill me. As I went to begin my hellacious fifth set I asked him if this was because I kept my foot on the weight after the first two sets. He said no, it's because I *cheated*. I questioned him, of course, because I did not cheat. He claimed that the fact that I did a very easy set and *lied* to him about the heaviness of it was cheating. I told him that I didn't lie, I was being *sarcastic* and clearly he has no sense of humor or ear for sarcasm. At this point I started doing the last set. He laughed and very loudly said, "See, *this* is what sarcasm gets you. Heeeeey! Fun, huh? Sarcasm is fuuuuuun." I also kicked the last set's butt, like I do. At this point we were done and I got in his face and started yelling: "YOU THINK YOU CAN BREAK ME?!?! YOU CAN'T BREAK ME! YOU TRIED TO MAKE ME FAIL, BUT I DON'T KNOW THE *MEANING* OF THE WORD FAIL!!!! I KICKED ITS BUTT!!!!!" People nearby were watching and laughing (my desired response). Devon responded in true ABD form by keeping cool, collected and patient and saying: "Now I know that you can do that, we'll *start* at that assistance level next time." He then grinned and began to walk away. ABD 1, Erin 0.

c) While discussing my nose piercing I told him that I have now completed my look and am hot. I informed him to back off because he is only a man and he needs to control himself in the presence of hotness. His face in response to this was amazing--I only wish there were words to describe it. Alas, there are not.

5) My Goals Have Changed; Allow Me to Share Them With You

I have been spending a lot of my spare brain power thinking about my goals. Some of this has been discussed on this blog. Do I go to 101 pounds total loss because that was my original goal or do I stop now and switch to maintenance because I am at a healthy weight? I had already made this decision, but my body fat measurements helped to affirm them.

Blog readers and loyal fan base: I have officially decided to change my goal! I will no longer be focusing on weight loss. This week I will continue with the old goal, then I go to FL for the better part of a week. When I return so May 22nd-ish, I will change my goal to marathon preparation. My marathon training program begins on May 24. Devon will be adjusting my lifting to aid in marathon prep as well as giving me a new diet (with a few more carbs in it!!!! YAY!!!). I anticipate that I will continue to lose some weight and/or maintain during the training. It just will not be my primary goal anymore. I am really excited for this new season in my journey!!! I feel very good about this decision! Here is my typical week as currently planned:

Sunday: lifting, 30 minutes of zone 1 cross-training (walk, elliptical, step-mill, swimming)
Monday: training run
Tuesday: lifting
Wednesday: training run
Thursday: training run and lifting
Friday: rest day
Saturday: long run

If this becomes too much (especially toward the end of the program as the training run distances increase, one of the lifting sessions will be the first to go. If necessary, another lifting session will go. I hope to not need to cut anything else out as I feel I need at least one lifting session, the running and the cross-training. HCL and ABD both don't think it will come to that.


Well, if you are actually still reading this long, long post, this is all I have for now! Great day! I'm feeling great! And I'm excited about the future! Next workout, running a 5K tomorrow morning...in the rain...

Another Workout-Filled Monday!

Mondays exhaust me! Well, that's a lie. I am currently all wound up. But they should exhaust me... Run with the girls in the morning and Gradual Build yuckiness in the evening. And today, Holly² talked me into walking outside after lunch today. We went about a mile (+/- 0.05 miles). Whewee. I'm tired typing that! Ok. No I'm not. But I *should* be.

Sole Sister Run:

Me and Holly² went running while Amy and Stephanie walked. It felt great to run outside after the last two weeks where we walked or jogged. The runners' stats:

Distance: 3.71 miles
Total time: 41:45
Average Pace: 11:14/mile

Gradual Build Yuckiness:

Recall that the Gradual Build Workout is to walk at 3.5 mph on the treadmill for 40 minutes increasing the incline every 5 minutes (except for the last 5--this is where you 'cool down' at an incline of 9.0%). The inclines: 2.0%, 4.0%, 6.0%, 8.0%, 10.0%, 12.0%, 14.0%, 9.0%. Yuck. The stats:

Calories Burned: 391 (Treadmill)/ 298 (HR Monitor)
Total Miles: 2.33
Time: 40:00
Ending HR: 142 (recall, I ended at a 9.0% incline)

Ok. Well deserved rest time tonight! Then tomorrow, ABD! I am really excited. I love my Devon sessions... And he has yet to see my awesome nose piercing! He will love it, I'm sure! Oh wait! You have not seen it either! A picture is in order...and a funny story! Picture first (yes, it *is* adorable...):



Story time! So, we had a meeting that was mandatory for everyone in the office today at work. At the end of the meeting my boss('s boss) decided to tell EVERYONE about my nose piercing. But he didn't explicitly say that. He said: 'Everyone should check out Erin's new jewelry.' So, half the office thought I got engaged and the other half assumed belly button ring. Belly button? Really? No. Fun times...

Have a great night! :)

Hard Lifting Routine Today

ABD emailed me my workout at 3:46 am this morning. Maybe he was cranky? I'm not sure what, but the workout was *hard* (that last statement should be read in a very whiny tone...). At one point awhile ago when ABD gave me a rough workout I asked him if I had done something to upset him and he replied with a question--why does a challenging workout need to be punishment? Devon, Devon, Devon. I hear what you are saying. But it just *feels* like you are mad at me and/or trying to kill me.

Here's the damage:

Seated Leg Extensions x 4s x 15r @ 95 lbs
Lying Leg Curls x 4s x 20r @ 70 lbs
Seated Row x 3s x 12r @ 60-70 lbs (I did 60 lbs.)
Flat DB Presses x 3s x 10r @ 25-30 lbs (I used 25 lb DBs).
Wide Grip Pull-ups x 3s x 10r @ 55 lbs or less (hands slightly wider than shoulders) (I did 58 lbs. 52 lbs was too hard.)
Cable Upright Rows x 3s x 15r @ 27.5-37.5 lbs (I did 32.5 lbs.)
Standing Barbell Biceps Curls x 4s x 10r @ 35-45lbs (I used a 35 lb BB.)
Cable Rope Pushdowns x 4s x 15r @ 22.5-32.5 lbs (I did 22.5 lbs.)
Decline Bench Crunches x 3s x 20r
Hanging Leg Raises x 3s x 15r (legs fully extended)

This whole 4-sets-of-15-to-20-reps-each really blows. If you want my opinion. The leg extensions about killed me on set 2. The last two sets weren't pretty. The lying leg curls did the trick on set ONE. I am looking forward to the upcoming pain tomorrow and Tuesday. :)

Next workouts: running with the girls in the am and gradual build yuckiness in the pm.

I Ran Inside.

Today, ABD told me to continue to do long runs for my third cardio day. This is quite an abstract thing since I had focused long runs before while prepping for the half marathon. I decided to go for an hour at a slow pace. The idea of long runs is to run them slower than your race pace and to stay in zone 2. I decided to do the Hills option on the treadmill to attempt to simulate outdoor running a little bit. I think I set it to level 5. It basically had a warm up and cool down, but in between it did 1 minute at 0.0%, then one minute at 2.1%, 2.8%, 3.5% and 4.3% with 0.0% minutes in between them. Not bad. I ran at 5.0 mph the entire time.

Stats:

Calories Burned: 749 (Treadmill)/ 564 (HR Monitor)
Total Miles: 5.22
Time: 65:00
Ending HR: 126

Next workout tomorrow. Lifting!

Off Day Offerings: How Do You Measure Healthy?

There are a lot of different measurements out there for measuring 'health'. More and more the BMI is losing its credibility as a good statistic. This is because it does not take into account the amount of lean body mass (particularly in the muscle department). I am a good case in point. My BMI says that I am overweight, but ABD and many others believe that I am, in fact, at a 'healthy' weight. An article in the May 2010 Women's Health gives the following indicators for good health.

Blood Pressure: Should be in the range of 90/60 to 120/80.
Resting Heart Rate: Should be in the range of 60 to 100 beats per minute.
Cholesterol: LDL <> 50, VLDL < 40, triglycerides < 150.
Fasting Blood Glucose: Should be in the range of 70 to 100.
Waist-to-Hip Ratio: Should be in the range of 0.6 to 0.8.

Some of these require lab tests at the doctor, but with very little work, anyone can determine their resting heart rate and waist-to-hip ratio. Additionally, most drug stores have free blood pressure machines. This can give you a good idea of your healthy-ness.

Next workout tomorrow! Lifitng or cardio. Not sure which. The other will be Sunday...

NO LIMITS!!!...The Deuce.

Today there is much to update. I lifted, attended No Limits Cardio and have a tale about arm wrestling I completely forgot to post yesterday due to my late night rushing to get to bed. Let us begin.

ABD gave me a lifting routine for today. I had asked him to please, please, please be nice since: 1) I was doing the No Limits Cardio class directly after lifting; and 2) he did an *excellent* job on Tuesday and my back and shoulders are *super* sore. In true ABD form, he did not respond. He did not email me my workout at all actually--I mean, why would he? When I got to the gym, he had it printed out for me. Aww, thanks, Devon... Here is the routine. Please note the TWENTY rep sets on the lat pulldown (BACK) and the FIFTY pound SHOULDER presses. You're ever so sensitive, Devon. I'm sure the pain will go away soon...

45° Leg Press: 300 lbs, 15 reps, 3 sets
Kneeling Leg Curls: 50 lbs, 12 reps each leg, 4 sets
Single Arm Bent Over DB Row: 50 lb DB, 8 reps each arm, 3 sets
Pec-Decks (Seated Machine Chest Flyes): 55 lbs, 10 reps, 3 sets
Lat Pulldown: 55 lbs, 20 reps, 2 sets (I did 50 lbs because I could not find the 5 lb plate)
Machine Shoulder Press: 50 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets
Standing DB Hammer Curls: 22.5 lb DBs, 10 reps, 4 sets
DB Kickbacks: 17.5 lb DBs, 15 reps, 3 sets

I then cooled down for 10 minutes and stretched. At this point, it was time for No Limits Cardio! I had taken this once before with my friend Amy. It kicked my butt. Today, it did not disappoint. :) You start the class with a 'warm up'. I put it in quotes because it was tough. Lots of running in circles and up and down stairs. Then we set off on the circuit (when there are two things you did each for 30 seconds of the minute):

Triceps Dips
Jumping Alternating Lunges
Planks from forearm to push-up position/push-up position to one arm shoulder touch
Walking Push-Ups
Squats (pivot in a circle, alternate legs)
Monkey-somethings (works obliques)
Stability Ball Overhead Pulls into a Crunch Holding a Medicine Ball
Push-ups on Dumbbells into Reverse Flyes
Woodchucks with a Medicine Ball
Jump Rope

We went through all of those stations twice. The first time after about 3 stations we did other fun cardio, like run the stairs, do the football run in place thing, jump over blocks, jumping jacks, squat jacks, weaving around cones, sprinting, etc... The second time through we went from each station with 10 second breaks in between. The last 15 seconds of the minute we pushed it as hard as we could. I sweat a lot. And I got a great workout! Oh! And I forgot the best part. I took the class with hot guy who did Latin Fusion with me. And at one point he flexed his amazing bicep for me from across the room. Yes, in that moment it made it all TOTALLY worth getting my butt kicked. ;) I *also* flexed my *amazing* bicep for him. He obliged me and complimented it.

While walking out of the class, ABD was there will another client (I know, I am also still shocked he even has other clients.) and I told him to take a good look because *this* is what I look like when I get my butt kicked. I really don't know why I provoke him. Probably because it is so much fun for me...and I know he is all talk. OH SNAP, DEVON! Yes, I said it. It's a good thing Devon doesn't actually read this blog. :) Devon asked me if I wanted him to formulate my sessions to be like that. I said, please don't. He then declared that he would CLEAR HIS WEEKEND schedule to plan a session to kick my butt on Tuesday. I think we all know Mr. All Talk will do no such thing... Don't we? :P

So. My arm wrestling story from yesterday. Some of you know that I really want to arm wrestle a scrawny man now that I am big and beefy. I have been trying to get my friend Tim to do it, but he refuses. Then I met Ryan. He looked scrawny enough so I challenged him. He refused. Then Ryan's wife Meag heard about this. And posted this in her 'Buzz" on gmail:



ERIN! ARE YOU READY TO TAKE ON THE ARM WRESTLING CHAMP!?!
THAT'S RIGHT! YOU HAVE BEEN CHALLENGED!

The medal says: 'Arm Wrestling Champ'. Meag hand-made it with love. So, I accepted. The match occurred yesterday. Per Ryan's request, the high school student was present, because: 1) we needed a witness; and 2) that witness needed to have questionable credibility in case Ryan lost. At this point, Ryan flexed for me. And I knew I was doomed. Kid has muscles!!! Who knew??!?! Apparently, he worked in a lumber yard. Whatever. So, he won. He has earned his medal. Or did he win? I mean...the only witness was a high school kid. ;)

Next workout tomorrow: some sort of cardio to be determined by ABD.

I Flunked Out of Spin Class.

Today, I joined Amanda F. for spin class. After 20 minutes, I not-so-gracefully exited in favor of my tried and true treadmill. That *also* did not go well, so I ended up walking for about 10 minutes (I had planned on running 3 10-minute miles) then stretching. I have some theories as to why my morning cardio did not go well:

1) I was awake at 4:45am. I felt like I had no energy. I may not have had any;
2) I think my body is still out-processing all of the crap I ate this weekend; and
3) My legs were so sore from my workout with ABD yesterday and I think I was just plain old fatigued.

I feel like it was probably a combination of the three. Anyways, while waiting for Amanda to finish her hard-core spin class, Melissa called me over to the TEAM Weight Loss Class to give a testimonial!!! I loved it! I was able to speak to why I felt that I have been successful. I mentioned the trainers and the accountability of my friends and family reading my blog. I also told them that I am (usually) very good at sticking to a strict diet plan and not cheating and that I emailed/text/call my trainer whenever necessary. Melissa asked for the link to this blog and asked if she could share it. Umm...YES! So! If you are Melissa or one of her TEAM Weight Loss peoples, WELCOME! I hope you can be inspired and/or take advantage of some of my lessons learned!

Also, it occurred to me that I don't have a three-letter nickname for Melissa... Hmm... She's really adorable and small, but a super tough trainer...maybe Adorably Tough Melissa? ATM? I like it.

Next workout: lifting tomorrow! Here's to hoping I have some energy for it...

"You Cheat Like Tiger Woods!!!!"

Today's session with ABD turned out to be a regular-very-hard session NOT a punish-Erin-because-she-ate-like-a-crazy-woman session. When I questioned ABD as to why he chose not to punish me, he said that at this point it is more beneficial for me to determine WHY I keep cheating like a crazy woman, than to physical punish me. I am ok with this decision. :) I still don't know why. ABD says I need to figure it out. Super.

The lifting:

BB Back Squats: 115 lbs, 10 reps; 125 lbs, 8 reps; 135 lbs, 6 reps; 145 lbs, 4 reps; 155 lbs, 2 reps

Lying Leg Curls Drop Set (75-65-55lbs): 10 reps each weight, 3 sets
Pull Through: Purple band, 10 reps

Overhead Walking Lunges: 25 lbs, 12 each leg, 2 sets

BB Rows: 75 lbs, 10 reps, 4 sets

BB Bench Presses: 95 lbs, 8 reps, 3 sets
DB Punches: 10 lb DBs, 30 seconds, 3 sets

Lat Pulldown: 60 lbs, 12 reps, 3 sets

Ballistic Shoulder Press: 30 lbs, 10 reps, 5 sets

ABD and I discussed my 12 pound weight gain a lot. He described the science behind carbs, insulin, water retention and the need to rid my body of the excess glucose via exercise. He impressed my need to figure out why I do this every so often. I asked ABD how he would describe my past weekend. He said quite certainly: "You f&$%ed up!". Ah, Devon...you're so gentle in your assessment. :)

While doing the ballistic shoulder presses (where I throw the shoulder press and catch it 10 times in a row...) I was defending myself to ABD telling him that I can, in fact, be disciplined. For example, I routinely go 6 weeks or more without cheating ONE BIT. Devon's most amazing response to that was: "Yes, but when you cheat, you cheat like Tiger Woods!!!" I nearly hurt myself because I laughed so hard I almost didn't catch the shoulder press handles on the way back down... I heart ABD.

I am curious to see what my weight loss is next week... It should be good. :)

Also, I spoke with HCL about my potential marathon training. The conversation went a little something like this:

Me: Liz, have you had a chance to review the paperwork I submitted and come to a conclusion?
Liz: I have concluded you are a major dork.
Me: Yes, that may be true, but what about the marathon? Can I do Keene?
Liz: Is that the one in September?
Me: Yes, September 26th. I'd start the training on Memorial Day.
Liz: How far is the first week's run?
Me: Like 5 or 6 miles.
Liz: What is the longest run in the training program?
Me: 20 miles.
Liz: ...Okay...
Me: Yessssssssssss!

So. It's official as of RIGHT NOW. I am working toward training for the Clarence DeMar Marathon in Keene, NH on September 26, 2010! I will be using the Hal Higdon Novice Training Program which has me starting on Memorial Day! I will be making a training calendar and will post the link when I do. I fully understand (all to well from some of my friend's experiences) that there are a multitude of things that could prevent me from actually doing this race (injuries, etc...) but the current plan is to do it barring any of these things! I am so very excited and terrified all at the same time! If anyone wants to do it with me, PLEASE JOIN ME! Also, if anyone wants to train with me (or at least join for long runs), PLEASE DO!!! YAY!

Next workout: spin class at 5:30 am with Amanda F.!!!

"Prepare For The Worst And Hope For The Best."

Hello Blog Readers! There is much to discuss. Here is the agenda:

1) My exercise for the past few days;
2) My ridiculously awful (and delicious) food binge and subsequent logic-defying weight gain; and
3) More deep thoughts on my weight goal/maintenance/body image/etc...

Ok. Let us dive right in!

1) My exercise for the past few days

Thursday, April 29: I lifted:

Back Squats x 3s x 12r @ 125lbs (Smith Machine)
Lying Leg Curls x 3s x 12r @ 80lbs
T-Bar Row x 3s x 12r @ 30lbs
Barbell Bench Press x 3s x 12r @ 80lbs (Smith Machine)
Bi-Angular Lat Pull-down x 3s x 12r @ 35lbs (two handles)
Seated Shoulder Press x 3s x 12r @ 60lbs (Hammer Strength)
Stability Ball Crunches x 3s x 15r
Hyperextension x 3s x 10r

Friday, April 30: I ran. My Stats:

Distance: 2.71 miles
Total time: 30:00
Average Pace: 11:05/mile
Calories Burned: 364
Average Heart Rate: 165

Saturday, May 1: I was supposed to run. But I didn't. :) Too tired.

Sunday, May 2: Rest day.

Monday, May 3: Sole Sisters Run. Me, Kiley, Julie and Holly² jogged this morning and it was great! I love them so much!!!!

I was also supposed to do the Gradual Build workout, but I really need a night of rest after my crazy-busy weekend!!!

2) My ridiculously awful (and delicious) food binge and subsequent logic-defying weight gain

Confession time: I ate ANYTHING and EVERYTHING from Thursday at dinner until tonight. I was physically sick and did not stop. It was delicious and disgusting. It hurt so good and so bad. I weighed myself on the scale at work today. It seems that I have gained 15 pounds. Hmm... ABD agrees (I texted him this fact) that this is not physically possible (although the scale clearly says otherwise). He thinks that it is fluids and will come down by the week's end. I weigh in officially tomorrow--that number should be interesting. I went grocery shopping for my healthy food tonight. Back on track tomorrow!

Side note: I asked ABD if I am in trouble at tomorrow's session (I like to mentally prepare for physical pain...) and here is his response: "Prepare for the worst and hope for the best." Gulp.

3) More deep thoughts on my weight goal/maintenance/body image/etc.

Now, I feel the need to preface this section by saying that I am some sort of crazy fluid-bloated and hopped up on carbs galore and am therefore overtired and over-dramatic. In the words of Amanda J., I am bringing the crazy. I am torn about the way I feel about my horribly poor eating weekend. I should be very upset that I did it. And to some degree I am. But at the same time, I kind of am not. FIFTEEN POUNDS IS RIDICULOUS. In all honesty I was expecting 5. And was ok with that. I maintain that I need to be able to do these things from time to time. I am getting back on track tomorrow and am confident that I can do that easily. Having said that, I also feel that my crazy eating was executed in a *very* unhealthy way. I could have tasted yumminess in moderation. There was nothing resembling moderation at any point of this past weekend. I am not throwing the towel in or discouraged that I can lose this weight. It is only a minor setback. I will lose whatever the final number is after the fluids are gone. :)

What I am concerned about is that for the first time I feel like my body image issues are issues. Allow me to explain. Along this journey, people keep cautioning me to be careful about becoming obsessed and/or unhealthy about the weight loss and final goal. To be completely honest, these people irritate the crap out of me (I apologize if you are one of them...but it's true). Up until now (and perhaps still) I have been completely healthy about it. My final goal is the HIGHEST point of the healthy weight range for my height. Additionally, I am willing to be heavier than that given the amount of lean body mass I have in my big beefy man muscles. Today that changed a little bit. Due to the 15 pounds of fat/water weight or whatever, I can totally see a difference in my body make up--in particular, it shows in my face and I can feel it in my wrists and fingers. My face looks swollen to me and my watch and rings are tight. I understand this is not the end of the world, but it really bothers me. I worry that this is *bordering* on me becoming too concerned about my body. Again, I still think my goals are healthy, but this is the first time I have felt so (perhaps unreasonably) unhappy with my physical appearance. Having said that, I binged and gained 15 pounds, it may be reasonable to be unhappy...

Finally (and this is the over-dramatic part), I keep thinking about ABD telling me that I cannot be successful if I am doing it because I am afraid of being fat. Well, it is what it is and I am. It was interesting to me that as I started to eat the junk I immediately felt like I weighed over 200 pounds again. And when I look in the mirror I see that to some degree. It's like my fear of being fat again takes over the actual reflection in the mirror. Also, I fear that I will never be able to maintain. My incredibly over-dramatic analogy I had today is that like with entropy all things without an external force acting upon them will tend toward a homogeneous chaotic state, without focus and ABD, I tend toward fat. I know this is not logical and somewhat ridiculous, but it feels like reality.

I am going to email Devon most of these thoughts and see what his opinions are during our session tomorrow... Stay tuned...