Off Day Offerings: Devon Yelled at Me

On Wednesday night, I cheated. I promptly texted Devon to confess. We spoke on the phone for over an hour. Yes, he yelled at me. It was definitely the concerned-parent-I-care-about-you yelling versus the I'm-a-big-meanie-head yelling. We were both laughing a lot during the exchange, but he was serious and I appreciated it. He was right, but perhaps more importantly, he was constructive. Allow me to start from the beginning.

Since 16 August, I had been doing AWESOME. I got back on my plan. I was empowered again after a summer of the guilt/deprived roller coaster. Last Sunday, 12 September, recall that I did the Howard County Police Pace 5K. It was sponsored by Outback Steakhouse. I love steak. More specifically, I love Outback Steakhouse Steak...and baked potatoes...and bloomin' onions...and that amazing brown bread!!! Devon and I discussed whether or not I could have tasty Outback food (if they had it). He said I could have some steak and some brown bread (a teensy tiny bit--because he agrees it is so yummy) if they had it. After the 5K, I didn't want to eat off of my diet, I wanted to go home and have my peanut butter, string cheeses and pear. So I did. On the way to the car I saw the Outback food--not tasty looking, not steak, not brown bread--I made a good choice. (Ir)Regardless, I was in the healthy diet mindset.

That night I was at my friends' house and we decided to get ice cream. I got a kiddie twist in a dish because and I didn't feel like it was cheating. I view this as significant because typically I am on my plan perfectly then BLOW IT. This time I thought, I can have a treat and stay on track. I almost was going to write this post about that...

Then, on Tuesday, I worked out with Amy. After lifting we went to the Barnes and Noble Starbucks. I got a tall chai latte. That's another item off of the plan. Oh, but I am not finished.

Again, I still felt empowered. Then on Wednesday night, I ran/walked with Meagan and Amy. I was *not* feeling it. It was quite a pitiful cardio session for me. I was tired and didn't want to be exercising. I asked Meagan if she wanted to go to Pei Wei. Ryan joined us.

I ate:

Chicken Lettuce Wraps: 2 servings, 310 calories each. We split them 3 ways so I had ~206 calories.
Sweet & Sour Chicken: 2 servings, 320 calories each. I ate it all. 720 calories.
Brown Rice: 2 servings is 3 oz. and 100 calories. Shall I assume my two serving sweet & sour chicken came with 2 servings of rice? Ok. 200 more calories.
Fortune Cookie: 20 calories (and a fortune!)

I then suggested that we go to Rita's:

Regular Twist with Chocolate Sprinkles: 330 calories for the ice cream, 35 for the sprinkles.

Then I went home...and in a craze ate two spoonfuls of peanut butter from the jar:

2 Tbsp. All Natural Jif: 190 calories.

Ok. So, the total damage was: 1701 calories. More than I eat in a typical day. For dinner. In less than two hours.

Needless to say I did not feel so hot that night. I texted Devon and told him I cheated and that my stomach hurt. Because it did...obviously!

He texted me some good things, for example:

*So, you went and got some food that made you feel sick and that runs counter to your goals. So, you've traded in losing weight and feeling great for Pei Wei and feeling bad? Not a good deal.

*I know the nutrition and exercise program you're on works. So do you. So feel free to waste your time deviating from your program. Not a good deal. If I were you, I'd stick to the program and stop tripping yourself up.

Eventually, I just called him and we talked for over an hour. He was very honest and stern with me (and he used some curse words that I will not type out here!). He told me that I not only messed up--I messed up 3 times. I claimed it was ONE time because it was "dinner". He said I messed up, then I drove somewhere else and messed up again and then I drove home and messed up AGAIN. He's right. I told him that I made a good choice by having brown rice instead of white rice. He said no. I was shocked. I like white rice better than brown, but I chose brown. He reminded me of my no-starch-after-noon restriction and how "dinner" is after 12:00.

Devon also told me tat I cannot view food as a treat. Apparently other people can, but *I* cannot. He said that I lack control and therefore cannot do the kiddie ice cream on Sunday like I did. Judging by Wednesday, he may be right. :(

I don't remember all that we talked about and how it could have possibly lasted for over an hour, but it did. All in all, it was a good conversation. I appreciate that he did not allow me to justify--even though I don't like it. I recognize that it is what I want/need. Also, he didn't just yell. He also talked about why things work and don't work.

My trainer is the best. :)