I Should Have Chosen the Free Fit Test...

Today was my free session with Zak as a prize for doing so well in the 10K. Recall that I had a choice to do this or get a free fit test. I chose the session because: 1) I don't want a fit test; 2) I love my sessions with Zak the Trainer; and 3) I was going to have 2 weeks between my last appointment (Oct 27) and the next one (Nov 3). I was so excited for it. It seemed wonderful. But, alas, it was not.

I weighed in at the same weight as last week. This upset me. I work very hard. Very hard. I give up a lot. A LOT. I don't cheat at all. AT ALL. I worked out Sunday through Saturday last week. Every day. I took off Sunday and worked out Monday. And lost NO WEIGHT. Now, yes, I know I lost 8 pounds last week. I wasn't expecting that again. All I wanted was ONE POUND. Forward progress. That's it. And I was not happy about it. Also, we took measurements. I lost like 1% body fat. REALLY??? So, you might argue: Erin, your weight stayed the same, but you gained muscle and lost fat. NOPE. That would show up in the measurements. AWESOME. *sarcasm*. Well, ZTT didn't like my negative attitude and so the whole session was a lot of discussion about this. It wasn't fun. I should have chosen the free fit test.

In the discussion I told him everything I was thinking. That I wish I had eaten all those foods I didn't eat (the cake at Lisa's shower, the yummy rice at the Vyas house, the pretzels on the boat today). If I am not going to lose, I wish I could have had a few bites of deliciousness. He told me that this was self-destructive thinking. I told him I didn't get to my current weight with healthy thinking. I told him that I was also angry because every week I do not make progress costs me more money. The gym and ZTT are expensive! If I am not cheating and am working very hard, I want a return on my investment. This week of no loss = another week of money out of my pocket. Zak says that I can be angry if it inspires me, but he worries my current attitude will snowball into a downward spiral. He then told me lots of stories about "clients" who had problems that started off like this. I felt like he was threatening me, but he claims he wasn't. He did point-blank say that he would not help me re-lose pounds. I didn't like it when he said that. I am not sure how I feel about it now. I think I still don't like it.

Also, at one point we were going to do the leg curls on the stability ball and I grumbled and he asked very nicely: Do you not want to do it??? I looked at him and said: Don't cater to my bad mood! Don't ask me my opinion. Tell me what to do. Tough Love, Zak, tough love!

Ugh. I am frustrated. I feel like Zak is too. Somewhat rightfully so. I kind of feel like he's my trainer so he should have to deal with me when I get all moody and make me work through this. But then again, he does have some high standards for his clients and what they put into the workouts, so maybe he can be frustrated with me. I don't know.

So...for now. I am giving it another week. At that point I don't know what honestly. Will cross that bridge when I come to it. I really don't see myself quitting. But I hope I can get out of this funk.

Next workout is tomorrow. Zak didn't have it so he is emailing it to me. It will be cardio of some sort.